Change is never just a moment; it’s a movement — often slow, often unclear — and always meaningful.
Life transitions come in many forms: the birth of a child, the end of a relationship, a move across countries, retirement, loss, illness, graduation, career shifts, or the quiet reorientation that happens when beliefs or identities evolve. Some changes are chosen. Others arrive uninvited. But all transitions share something essential: they usher us from one version of life to another, often without a clear map.
Understanding Life Transitions: More Than Just Change
Psychologically, transitions differ from mere changes. As William Bridges, a scholar in transition theory, notes: change is situational — it’s the external shift, like starting a new job or moving house. Transition, however, is internal. It’s the psychological and emotional process of adapting to that change. And that process doesn’t follow a straight line.
Bridges identify three phases:
1 The Ending – where something familiar concludes, often accompanied by grief, uncertainty, or relief.
2 The Neutral Zone – a liminal space, where the old is gone but the new hasn’t quite arrived.
3 The New Beginning – marked by a fresh sense of purpose or identity, but usually fragile and tentative at first.
This middle phase — the neutral zone — is frequently misunderstood. It can feel like a void, but in truth, it’s a fertile ground for integration and renewal. It’s the cocoon before the wings.
Why Transitions Matter
Transitions invite us to re-examine our assumptions. They challenge the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we value, and where we’re going. Often, they dismantle identities we’ve outgrown and call us into deeper alignment.
Think of someone who has left a long-term job. On the surface, it might look like a professional pivot. But underneath, there’s usually a reshaping of self: What am I without this role? What parts of me were dormant? What does fulfillment look like now?
Or consider the end of a relationship. It’s rarely just about two people parting ways. It’s also the end of a shared future, a reconfiguring of home, community, and self-perception.
A Time of Active Invisibility
One of the most disorientating aspects of transitions is how invisible they can be. Outwardly, it may seem like nothing is happening. There’s often no title or label to capture this in-between state. And yet, internally, everything may be shifting — quietly, deeply.
During these periods, people often feel unproductive or untethered. But this invisibility is deceptive. Like seeds breaking open underground, much of the work of transformation happens out of sight. It is a time of identity reconstruction, emotional recalibration, and narrative revisioning.
Cultural Silence Around the In-Between
Modern Western culture tends to prize clarity, achievement, and forward motion. As a result, it often overlooks or pathologises the ambiguity inherent in life transitions. There’s little room for not knowing, for drifting, for pausing.
Yet many spiritual, psychological, and anthropological traditions treat these transitional spaces as sacred. Anthropologist Victor Turner called them “liminal spaces” — thresholds where the old order dissolves and something new can emerge. In liminality, the rules are suspended, roles are loosened, and creativity often flourishes.
We need more cultural permission to honour these spaces, to see them not as detours but as vital corridors of becoming.
Living Through the Middle
There is no single roadmap for transition. The pace, shape, and emotional texture differ for everyone. But some gentle truths can accompany us:
- You’re allowed to not have answers.
- You’re allowed to feel joy and grief in the same breath.
- You’re allowed to rest.
- You’re allowed to grow slowly.
Give yourself grace if you’re not “moving on” in the way others expect. Transition is not a productivity sprint. It’s a reorientation of the heart.
A Quiet Transformation
Eventually, the fog lifts. The unfamiliar becomes home. The ache softens. You begin to recognise yourself again — not as you were, but as you are now: shaped, stretched, softened, perhaps more whole.
And often, without noticing, you carry forward new capacities — deeper empathy, clearer boundaries, a more authentic voice.
Closing Thoughts
Life transitions aren’t interruptions. They are life — the connective tissue between what was and what’s to come. They are not merely hurdles to overcome but invitations to transform.
If you find yourself in the middle of one now, know this: the work you’re doing matters, even if it’s invisible. You are not behind. You are becoming.
Let it take the time it needs.
Source:
Chapman, E. (2021). Supporting Clients through Life Transitions [lecture]. Counsellor CPD. Counselling Tutor. [Date viewed: 24/04/25].