Menopause: Understanding What’s Happening and How to Live Through It
Menopause is a natural stage of life, yet many women reach it feeling unprepared, unheard, or quietly worried about the changes they’re experiencing. Perimenopause and post-menopause can bring physical, emotional, and psychological shifts that feel confusing or even unsettling — especially when no one has explained what’s actually happening.
If you’ve found yourself thinking “I don’t feel like myself anymore”, please know this: you’re not alone, and you’re not imagining it.
What Menopause Actually Is
Menopause isn’t a single moment — it’s a process.
- Perimenopause is the transition leading up to menopause, often beginning in the mid-40s (sometimes earlier). This is when symptoms are often at their most intense.
- Menopause is officially marked one year after your last period.
- Post-menopause is the stage after this, when hormonal fluctuations tend to settle and stabilise.
Understanding these stages can already bring a sense of relief. What you’re experiencing has a name — and a reason.
What’s Happening in Your Body and Brain
During this transition, levels of oestrogen and progesterone fluctuate and eventually reduce. These hormones influence far more than periods — they affect mood, sleep, memory, concentration, temperature regulation, and emotional balance.
You may notice:
- poor or broken sleep
- anxiety or low mood
- irritability or tearfulness
- brain fog or difficulty finding words
- feeling unlike your “old self”
Importantly, the brain is also going through neuroplastic rewiring. This can temporarily affect cognition and emotional regulation.
This is not a decline. It’s a metabolic reorganisation — similar to puberty or pregnancy. Your body is adapting, not failing.
The Emotional Side of Menopause
Menopause can stir up feelings that take women by surprise.
Grief and Loss
This stage of life can resurface old, unprocessed grief or bring a quiet mourning for unchosen paths — relationships, careers, motherhood, or versions of yourself you once imagined.
Invisibility and Cultural Pressure
In a culture that idealises youth, many women feel they become less visible as they age. This can impact confidence, identity, and self-worth.
Anxiety and Low Mood
Some women experience anxiety or depression for the first time during perimenopause. Others notice existing feelings intensify. Hormonal change often sits beneath this, even when it doesn’t look obvious from the outside.
None of this means you’re weak. It means you’re human — and going through a profound transition.
“I Don’t Feel Like Myself Anymore”
Many women don’t immediately connect their symptoms to menopause. Instead, they worry something is “wrong” with them.
If this resonates, it can help to gently explore the connection between how you feel and what your body is going through. Understanding this link often reduces fear and self-criticism, replacing it with compassion.
Reframing Distressing Thoughts
Menopause symptoms can trigger harsh inner beliefs:
- “I can’t cope with this.”
- “I should be handling this better.”
- “Something must be wrong with me.”
A helpful way of working with these thoughts is to gently question them:
- What evidence do I have that this is dangerous or unmanageable?
- What would I say to a friend going through the same thing?
- Can I allow myself kindness here?
Changing how you speak to yourself can ease emotional distress and help you feel more grounded.
Caring for Yourself, Not Punishing Yourself
Movement and self-care during menopause are about support, not perfection.
- Resistance training can help protect bone density, cognitive function, and metabolic health.
- Gentle movement supports both emotional wellbeing and physical strength.
- Exercise doesn’t have to look like it once did. It can be redefined in ways that feel realistic, meaningful, and kind.
Progress matters more than pushing.
Making Informed Choices About HRT
There is no “right” or “wrong” choice when it comes to HRT — only informed, personal ones.
Some women carry beliefs such as:
- “If I take HRT, I’ve failed to cope naturally.”
- “If I don’t take HRT, I must endure this alone.”
Neither of these is true.
What matters is that decisions are made from self-compassion, autonomy, and accurate information, not shame or pressure.
Menopause Is Not an Ending
One of the most important reframes is this:
menopause is not an ending — it’s a reorientation.
This stage of life offers space to reflect, reassess values, and shape what comes next. The brain remains adaptable. Identity is not fixed. Growth and renewal are still very much possible.
You are not disappearing — you are changing.
A Gentle Closing Thought
Menopause is a valid, meaningful life stage. When understood and supported, it can be navigated with dignity, strength, and self-respect.
If you’re in this transition, you don’t need to “just get on with it”. You deserve understanding — from others, and from yourself.
You are not broken.
You are becoming.
Source: Hill, R., S-A. (2025). Clients Experiencing Menopause [lecture]. Counsellor CPD. Counselling Tutor. [11/12/25].